Response, or Lack Thereof

Gee whiz, guys. It seems like the more frequently I post, the fewer comments I get. I’m not sure why that is. Even when I put up some newsworthy material, it seems like Ann’s the only one who bothers to respond.

Be that as it may, there’s a couple of events I probably need to catch everyone up on. You already know about my return to TNG, since I posted that earlier in the week, so I’ll move on to other stuff:

1. I rolled 87,000 miles on my car last Sunday. I’m wondering what my odds are of getting it to 150,000. With everything I’m paying off now, it’s gonna be a while before that gets replaced.

2. I’ve played over 5100 games of Freecell in the last 15 months. I’m winning 83% of them, and my longest winning streak is 51 in a row. Wow, assuming each game takes 3 minutes, that’s over 10.6 DAYS of Freecell. Of course, I will often play when I’m on the phone, so it’s not like I’m not doing anything else.

3. Now that I’ve been playing basketball again for the last few weeks, I do feel like I’m in a better rhythm when I go out there. That said, I miss playing shortstop.

Since I’ve been griping about the lack of response, I’ll put a question out in the field that should generate a little interest:

If you were going to force me to go on a date with someone, who would it be, and why?

This can be someone famous, but doesn’t have to be. And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a request. I’m just curious to gain some insight into how my readership thinks.

Have a good weekend folks. And for those of you at TNG, I’ll see you on Tuesday.

Waite's Dead

Well, when I checked this afternoon, Waite had passed. Apparently, I didn't do as good of a job caring for him, as he didn't want to be reincarnated. That's OK. I think I've had enough pets for a while.

MAJOR NEWS FLASH: I'M BA-AAACK!!

This is going to come as a surprise to some of you, but I’m making a short term return to TNG.  Why?  Let me explain.

First and foremost, money.  I’ve tried, but the CM IT Solutions thing just isn’t working out.  I gave it my best shot, but it wasn’t happening.  As such, I need to get somewhere where I can start making some money again, and TNG offered the quickest solution.

At this point, I’m going in on a consulting basis.  How long will that last?  I don’t know.  Probably at least into the early part of summer.  From there, I don’t know where it will go.

That’s it for now.  I’m off to play some basketball and get my exercise for the week.

Ego List--Part IV

Based on the one positive comment left by Ann last time, I will continue to post things about me that you may or may not know. We pick it up again with number 71. Keep in mind that these are in no particular order, outside of the order that I happen to think about them. But you probably figured that out by now.

71. I’m not a fan of the Detroit Tigers, despite spending 15 years (on and off) of my life living in Michigan. For the full story of this, you can see http://derekknowssports.blogspot.com/2005/12/start-with-tigers.html from my sports blog.

72. I also root against the Lions, Red Wings, Pistons (when I’m forced to pay attention to the NBA), and U of M. Blame Detroit media for over-hyping them.

73. I believe I was the first person to hold up a sign reading “Fire Jim Crews” in Roberts Stadium in Evansville. OK, it was less a sign than a towel where I wrote those words, but you get the point.

74. The Houston Astros were for sale while I was in college. My college roommate and I would discuss our desire to buy the team. Granted, we lacked the $150 - $200 million to actually do it, but we had worked out our roles. I would run the team, and he would sit in the owner box, occasionally venturing out to pick up women with the line, “Hey, I own the Astros!” Why BC thought this would be enough, I don’t know. But then again, I was just hoping he wouldn’t interfere with my running the team.

75. I strongly prefer to drive if a group of people are going somewhere. Generally, I trust me driving over someone else. I will ride along occasionally, but usually only for short distances. If it’s a road trip, I’m definitely driving. And don’t expect me to share.

76. I was the Salutatorian of my 8th grade class.

77. Since I bought my house over 6 years ago, I’ve only made a handful of improvements: Added valances to the windows (thanks Aunt Helen), put in a ceiling fan in the office, added a shelf in the laundry closet (thanks Dad), added shelves in the garage (all me), and put in a ceiling fan in my bedroom (with Dad).

78. I love Dilbert.

79. I still have one of the stuffed animals I was given shortly after I was born. Sure, Sleepy is nearly devoid of fur, stemming from an incident when I was about 3 or 4 while riding in the backseat, but that’s a story for another time.

80. Sorry to do this to you Bob, but the wildest ride I’ve ever had was the trip back from Cedar Point after graduating from high school. The roller coasters were fine, but I thought I was going to die driving through Detroit. This is the closest to a “Martin Luther Moment” that I’ve ever had.

81. The first car I ever had to pay for (a white ’91 Dodge Shadow) just DRANK oil. I’d have to put a quart of oil in about every 2000 miles or so. It never leaked, it just burned through it like you wouldn’t believe.

82. I still have an FCC broadcasting license.

83. I strongly prefer pens with black ink over blue.

84. As a high school senior, I coached a 5th grade basketball team. I can’t remember for sure, but I think we went 3-4.

85. My only home run in Little League occurred in 4th grade, and was very likely a double combined with a couple of errors.

86. My best scoring performance in basketball (at least in a game that had officials) was 17 points in a church league game. Before that, it was the 9 points I’d put up against Kensington in 6th grade. The 17 was just a freak performance.

87. I enjoy watching CNBC.

88. I think I’ve been to 5 concerts in my life: Huey Lewis, Paula Abdul, Def Leppard (twice), and Depeche Mode. There may be a 6th, but I’m completely drawing a blank on who it was.

89. I have every Sporting News Baseball Guide going back to 1976.

90. I prefer to work on the day before or after holidays.

More to come when I think of it.

Wandering Mind

This was going to be a continuation of my ego list.  It started out that way, but kind of turned into a stream of consciousness rant on different things.  As such, I removed the numbering, as I don’t want to confuse anyone.

• I believe that Jim Crews is the worst coach in college in basketball.  I don’t think any human being has spent more time blankly staring at scoreboards during timeouts than Jimbo.  I can’t believe Army hasn’t fired him yet.  That said, the folks on the Army message boards are finally starting to lose some patience with him, as you can see here.  I’ve also had my comments on my Sports Blog (http://derekknowssports.blogspot.com/2006/03/its-official-crews-sucks.html).


• I can probably sing most of the words, or at least the refrains, of most top-40 songs from the 80’s, and an awful lot of songs that didn’t make it that far.  Of course, I use the word “sing” loosely.


• I think I like early rap because it didn’t involve singing.


• Hey, this just hit me, but if American Idol can get good ratings showing all the folks that audition and can’t sing, I wonder if I could get a weekly show that features my unique song stylings of various songs.  It would be like watching VH1 Classic, but with at combination of William Hung, Al Yankovic, and bad karaoke.  Leslie Nielson could host, and we could invite the actual artists.  Not that they’d show up, unless the band was planning a reunion tour.


• I’m afraid that when I retire, Bono is going to move into my neighborhood and gripe about EVERYTHING.  Then a band of us residents will conspire to get him thrown out of the area, only to be foiled when he gets national media coverage to help him stay.  It could happen.


• SportsCenter hasn’t been the same since Keith Olbermann left for MSNBC.


• I’m afraid if you put Jim (Crissy) Rome and Steven A(hole) Smith in the same room, it might turn everyone within a 100 mile radius into extremely loud (and dumb) zombies.  This must not be allowed to occur.  Ever.  Seriously.

It’s time for bed.  See y’all later.

Ego List--Part III

Because I’m not embarrassed by the size of my ego, and since I’m sure there’s more stuff y’all want to know, the Ego List continues:

51. I believe that ketchup (Heinz, not that weak-ass Hunts stuff) is a food group. I will frequently keep 3-4 bottles in the pantry just to make sure I don’t run out. It also helps when Target runs the 24 oz bottles for $.99.

52. As an 8th grader, I won the inaugural LHN Math Contest. I can’t remember how many of us from St. John were entered, but I do remember having various practice problems given to us by Mr. Grothaus.

53. Speaking of that contest, I don’t know if Mom remembers this, but after the contest, I got home, and wasn’t feeling real great. Despite this, I asked Mom to take me back that afternoon for the awards ceremony, as I thought I did pretty well. Little did I know I would win the thing.

54. And while I’m on the topic of not feeling well, after I took the SAT for the first time as a 7th grader, I came home and puked 3 times. This blew my free lunch with Greg and his parents.

55. The last time I vomited was when I lived in Grand Rapids. The problem is that I’d had Chef Boyardee lasagna for dinner that night. It was 4 years or more before I could look at or smell the stuff again. Trust me, that’s a tough taste to get rid of.

56. I understand the place isn’t there anymore, but when I was in high school, there was such a thing as the Burger King 500. No, it wasn’t a NASCAR race. It was a bunch of kids with nothing better to do driving around the Burger King at Winchester Mall (or Morgue). It wasn’t something I’d participate in, but every now and then, I’d watch it from inside. This was usually with Greg after playing tennis.

57. I once traded a Mark McGuire Olympic card to Rob for his ’87 Topps McGuire card. I’m sure Rob was feeling better about that move about 14 months ago. He can’t ever say I haven’t done him any favors.

58. My cubicle was vandalized by some of the people working for me (back when it was TeamVest) on my 30th birthday. It seems they covered everything in pink wrapping paper. This also included my computer monitor. They even took everything off my wall, put up the wrapping paper, and then put the stuff back up over top of the wrapping paper. And it wasn’t just pink. It had butterflies on it. That was probably the most surprised I’d ever been. I came in that morning, and my cube literally GLOWED. That might be the best prank ever pulled off at that office, though it’s possible something better has been pulled off since then.

59. I would much rather play good defense playing basketball than put up a lot of points.

60. I wear my clothes in a rotation for the most part, mainly because I usually don’t care what I wear.

61. I’m currently getting 5 magazines: Newsweek, Sports Illustrated, Kiplingers, Money, and PC World.

62. I don’t think I’ve ever dated anyone more than twice, but I’ve had my car for almost ten years, and some of my t-shirts I’ve had since college.

63. I am (still) Ann’s nemesis. This was her idea. I was nominated, and then accepted the position. I tried to resign once (OK, more than once), but I’ve been told this is much like a Supreme Court confirmation: Once you’re in, it’s yours for life. Yet I’ve got $5 that says Ann outlives me.

64. Every time I sneeze, I say “I hate sneezing”. This is because (get your Norm McDonald voice here) I hate sneezing.

65. I happily participated in our senior class’s attempt to push the freshmen off the bleachers during a pep rally. And despite what the principal, vice principal, counselors, teachers, kitchen help, and custodial staff may have said afterwards, it WAS freakin’ funny, even if someone could have gotten hurt.

66. I (along with one other guy) got a free pass in Pre-Calculus for the last 3 months of my senior year, basically in exchange for promising not to bury the replacement teacher (the one we’d started the year with mercifully had a baby).

67. It’s almost a guarantee that if I have to guard my brother (or he has to guard me) while playing basketball, we’re going to end up in a fight. He’s probably still a little quicker, and he’s definitely the better shooter, but I’m the better (he’d say dirtier) rebounder, and that’s when things get ugly.

68. Somehow, I’m the guy who runs the tournament pool every year at TNG. Now if only I could get someone else to become the softball coach.

69. I was 10 pounds, 10 ounces when I was born (two weeks late). According to Mom, the doctors were on the verge of coming in to get me.

70. I nearly got Mom thrown out of a bowling league for fighting (or biting) other kids in the nursery.

OK, I’m off to watch 24 now.

Stuff From Saturday

Some random thoughts and happenings as I watch Montana & BC:

1. I’m a little annoyed with DirecTV right now.  Starting yesterday, I can’t turn directly to channel 925, which is the Charlotte CBS station.  I have to go to channel 926 (ABC), wait a few seconds, and then go down to 925.  This causes me to miss a few seconds of action from time to time.  Why this is happening now, I have no idea, but if anyone knows who I should talk to or how to make it stop, please let me know.


2. I really need to wash my car.  Maybe next weekend.


3. Maybe this makes me un-American, but I wasn’t terribly disappointed that the US was eliminated from the WBC.  This will get Jeter, Damon, & A-Rod back in camp.


4. I forgot to mention about a week and a half ago that Aaron II died, also at age 73.  He’s been replaced by Waite, who’s a pretty freaky-lookin’ white dat with purple (or maybe blue) spots.  I kinda forgot to refill his bowl this morning, and just did it about a ½ hour ago.  He’s sick now, probably from playing with all the crap he’s dumped (and I forgot to remove).  I don’t think I’m meant to have pets.


5. I’m considering a surprise announcement in the next couple of weeks.  You’ll have to keep checking, as things could develop pretty quickly.


6. I just realized that I haven’t posted anything here in the last 9 days.  I’ll try to make up for things by posting on Tuesday or Wednesday as well, even if it’s a continuation of my Ego List.


7. Congrats to Karol’s alma mater, Hope College, who just won the Division III women’s basketball championship today.  You can see the stats here.

Oops, gotta go.  Illinois is in trouble.

Honors Chemistry

I promised Ann a story from our days in Honors Chemistry.  I’m a little surprised that she doesn’t remember much from that class, since she sat right behind me the entire year.  Yes, I know.  I’m amazed I survived that as well.  At that point, she was, shall we say, a bit more “socially conscious” than what she would be even two years later, so she didn’t bother me much, and I was nice enough to keep her from falling out of her chair (as she constantly had her feet on the back of mine.

Anyway, jumping back to the story.  I remember one day during the spring (I remember it being during baseball season) when our teacher, Mr. Wolf, was talking about something related to flower or dyes or something like that.  A few people were interested, and so Mr. Wolf said something to the effect of, “If you want to, get some flower petals tonight, bring them in tomorrow, and we’ll do some experiments on them.”  I looked over at Bob and Scott, who sat to my right, and we all kind of shrugged.

The next day, we come to class, and Mr. Wolf has everyone head to the back of the room to begin the experiment.  Everyone, that is, except for Scott, Bob, and me.  We didn’t bring in any flower petals.  Mr. Wolf looks at us and asks why.  We looked at each other and responded, “You said, ‘If you want to.’  We thought it was optional.”  He frowned at us, but couldn’t do much, because he did in fact say that, even if that wasn’t what he meant.

So the lesson to you teachers out there, never begin a homework assignment with the phrase, “If you want to,”.

At some point in the future, I’ll teach my readers how NOT to be left at school like Ann was one afternoon as a senior.

Ego List--Part II

OK, we’re back. I just moved a load of clothes into the dryer, and completed my grocery shopping earlier this morning. I’ve decided to just kind of riff on different things with 1 thing in common. They’re all about ME. Some of this will be useless information to you. That’s OK. Some things have been mentioned elsewhere. That’s OK, too. The nice thing about having your own blog is you get to make up the freakin’ rules. So back to the show.

31. I became a Yankees fan while living in Maryland. This is partially because one of the kids who carpooled with us played Little League and his team was the Yankees. The other is that one of my earliest TV sports memories is watching the Yankees and Dodgers in the ’77 World Series.

32. Being a Yankees fan came in handy after we moved to Connecticut, mainly because we didn’t pick teams for kickball much. We split up between Yankees and Red Sux fans a lot. I wouldn’t have had a team if I was an Orioles fan.

33. Some people who know me from high school will refer to me as “Math god”, a title that I have to admit I like. This is due to winning the Math award as a senior, an award I didn’t bother to pick up until the following day. I think Mom’s still a little mad that I decided to bypass that award ceremony.

34. Other nicknames include “D” and “Stretch”. “D” came from BC in college. I have no plans to explain “Stretch.”

35. I once corrected my Pre-calculus teacher without even picking my head off of my desk and looking at the board. Rob will vouch for this.

36. I wish I had more time for statistical baseball analysis.

37. I took the SAT 3 times, but two of those were before I got to high school. Based on my 7th grade score, I would have been eligible to play for a Division I college.

38. I have a ham sandwich nearly every day for lunch. And if I don’t have one for lunch, that’s probably what dinner is.

39. If anyone comes to visit me, you’re almost guaranteed of being taken out for som barbeque at some point during your visit.

40. I graduated from the University of Evansville in 3-1/2 years. I was really tired of doing homework.

41. While at UE, I served as Sports Director of WUEV, 91.5 FM, the school’s radio station, for 2-1/2 years. I was also the one responsible for bringing sports back to the station after about a 5 or 6 year hiatus by begging the station manager to let us do 4 baseball games during my freshman year. Of course, my broadcast partner (who had been my freshman roommate for a month) and I nearly got suspended for some of our comments made at the end of our first test game. Whole separate story there.

42. My first job was working in the stock department of a drug store in Rochester, Michigan. I think I spent about 1/3 of what I made on baseball cards, which they sold to me basically at cost.

43. That job was one of the main reasons I decided to get contacts. I got tired of walking out the walk-in cooler and having my glasses fog up.

44. During a biology lab in college, we played a game called “Extinction”. I don’t remember exactly how it worked, but I remember our group getting to leave early when I eliminated all of the other species to win the game. However, I don’t think that was necessarily the object of the game.

45. I’ve broken two bones that I know of, and possibly a third. The first was my middle toe on my left foot in 6th grade. The second was my left thumb just before basketball tryouts in 8th grade. That last one basically ended my hoops career until I got to college, where I played a lot more. I may have broken a bone in my right pinky playing pickup games at Wake Forest in 1997 when that same finger was dislocated. I popped it back in place and finished the game. Only when the thing was still swelled up 6 weeks later did I have it x-rayed. The doctor said if there was a small break, it had been set correctly and healed.

46. Many people at TNG still remember me running into a chain link fence while playing softball about 6 years ago and the resulting damage that caused. Despite the fact that NONE of my teammates yelled to warn me about the fence, at least they did get the ball back into the infield before checking to see if I was OK.

47. I absolutely love long distance freeway driving. I’ve done so many trips without anyone else in the car, I actually prefer it that way. I also usually finish my trips hoarse from my attempts at singing.

48. I was publicly served my first alcoholic beverage at Chili’s at age 20. Greg was with me for that one, and we both nearly blew our chance at getting served.

49. I think I’ve been wrong about 20 times since I moved to North Carolina almost 10 years ago. It seems to happen about once every 6 months or so. I still harbor this belief that while I’m not perfect, I can be going forward.

50. I can still sing all the words to “Jam On It” by Newcleus.

More next time. I think I may go take a nap.

Ego List--Part I

OK, Ann wants me to list things about myself, much like she did on one of her posts (http://crestmorecottage.blogspot.com/2006/02/getting-to-know-me.html).  And since I’m her nemesis, my job is to a) create a bigger list that is b) funnier than her list while at the same time c) making my audience smarter.  This is also a hell of a chance to let my ego run loose for a while, which it needs to do every now and then.  As such, I’ll start by semi-mocking Ann’s list, expanding on it, and possibly mocking the one that she based her list on.  I have no idea how long this thing is going to get, so some of you may have to do something else part way through just to let your brains relax.  That’s OK, just mark down where you left off and pick it back up later.  I’m also doing this while listening to the 80’s channel on XM Radio (“Jungle Love” by Morris Day & The Time right now).  With that, let’s begin.

1. I have hazel eyes.  Sorry, just nothing funny about that.


2. My fridge has pictures of me, my car, my brother, Grandma, my cousins (there’s only 2 of them), Dad, Greg, Greg’s parents, Karol, Karol’s husband, Karol’s 3’ x 6’ Birthday Banner, a friend of Karol’s, my uncle, Bob, my college roommate BC, and the basketball court I want to put in my backyard as soon as I get a backyard.  Yes, I realize this means I don’t have a picture of Mom up.  I think that’s because she’s usually the one taking the pictures.  There’s also a slew of magnets up there.  I think there’s more pictures on the fridge than in the rest of my house.


3. If your favorite food is based on the quantities you consume, my favorite food is pepperoni & onion pizza from Papa John’s.  Or maybe Frosted Flakes.  Or possibly Pop Tarts.  Then again, it could be Heinz ketchup.  But if it’s the enjoyment you get from eating it, it’s probably a good flat iron steak.


4. My favorite beverage is Pepsi.  But I’ve got Coke, Sprite, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, A&W root beer, OJ, milk, apple juice, water, Gatorade, all currently in the fridge.


5. I just answered the Pepsi vs. Coke thing with #4.


6. I’ve never had a pet, at least until Aaron (and Aaron II).  Read some previous posts if you don’t know who or what Aaron is.  And just for the record, Aaron II shits about 4 times as much as Aaron ever did.


7. I don’t have a preference on the number of kids, except to say that I’m quite happy with my current ZERO given the fact that the number matches the number of spouses I have.


8. I’m lucky if I notice if a person even HAS buttons on his/her shirt.  I barely notice if I have buttons on my shirts.


9. I’ve never practiced square roots, but I used to search for prime numbers during Honors Chemistry in high school.  Speaking of Honors Chem, a future post will involve a story from my days there.  And don’t worry Ann, this one somehow doesn’t involve you.


10. I don’t know if I laugh too loud, but a person or two might have mentioned that may not be very quiet when I’m on a phone.  The condition is worsened if I know the other person has me on speaker.


11. My house is gray, my car is white, and I haven’t worn a coat all winter.  Such is but one of the benefits of living in NC.


12. I hate it when people don’t immediately start moving when the traffic light turns green.  I also hate it when the pizza delivery guy is too dumb to find my house and I have to give him directions when he calls to say he’s lost.


13. No kids, but I will say my middle name is the same as Dad’s, which was the same as his Dad’s.  And if I ever have a kid who turns out to be male, he’s gonna get the same one.


14. My parents contend that my first name came from different people.  Mom says it’s one of her former students.  Dad says it came from former Bruin, Ranger, Blue, Canuck, and Penguin enforcer Derek Sanderson.  And you wonder where the sports influence came from.  Sanderson also happens to be Derek Jeter’s middle name.  I really should have practiced harder as a kid.  That could have been me.


15. I’m not giving away anyone’s birthday, as that puts you more at risk for identity theft.  And I’m not a fan of identity theft.


16. My pet’s initial is A.  He doesn’t have a last name.


17. My pet’s middle initial is -.  Think about it.  The first one who asks me to explain is banished to a lifetime of listening to Biz Markie sing Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits.


18. I’m not a jewelry guy.  If it’s not required to get service at McDonald’s, I’m probably not wearing it.  Underwear, pants, and socks excluded.


19. I took German in grade school and high school.  You can say almost anything in German, and you can sound authoritative and upset doing it.  Particularly when you at “Mach schnell!!” at the end of it.


20. I have no idea if I could interpret any written German at this point.  I might be able to get a little bit, but the fact that I have no idea can’t possibly bode well for actually doing it.


21. I’m pretty much obsessed only with my own life, though I grew up (and still remain) a huge Graig Nettles fan.


22. I wanted to be a professional baseball or basketball player growing up.  Once I realized that wasn’t going to happen, I wanted to be the head statistician for a major league team.  I also wanted to be 6’5” for reasons I can’t explain.


23. I’m afraid if I visit Australia, I’m not going to come back.


24. I can’t sing.  I’ve been told by Rob (numerous time) that I effectively “moan to a tune.”


25. I’ve stood on the roof at Bosse Field a number of times.  Of course, that’s where the press boxes were.  I’ve also stood in the CN Tower in Toronto.


26. I once drove solo from Fort Collins, Colorado back to my dorm in Evansville, Indiana, an 1100 mile trip, in 17 hours.  And that included stopping for food and gas along the way.  This was also when speed limits were still 55.


27. I learned to keep score at a baseball game from a Detroit Tigers game program.  I’m almost embarrassed to admit this.


28. I lived in Grand Rapids for almost a year.  Longest winter of my life.  That’s what convinced me to move south.


29. I’ve always wanted to learn to play an electric guitar.  The wooden acoustic ones always seemed a little too “hippie” for me.


30. I donate to my high school, but don’t give a dime to my college.  I feel like I got SOOOOOO much more out of high school.  Plus idiots run UE.

OK, that’s part one.  I need to get to bed, but I’ll try to add more in the next couple days.