AACCK!! The Bedazzler

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything (outside a couple of comments in different places), so let me start off by saying I hope everyone had a great Christmas.  I also hope you’re about to have (or had, if you’re reading this in 2006) a great New Year.  I get to run the sound board at church for the New Year’s Eve service, after which I’ll be helping to count the offering.  After that, I’ll head home and go to bed.  I should probably be excited that this year is over, but I don’t plan on staying up.  The novelty has worn off.

Anyway, I felt the need to make you, my loyal reader, aware of a rather frightening development.  Many of you watched the Apprentice last spring.  You may remember Tana, the runner up that season.  During one of the projects, she let her team on a hunt for something called the Bedazzler.  The Bedazzler is basically a Ron Popeil-type gadget designed to put rhinestones on stuff.  This product was clearly on its deathbed, as Tana had to run all over NYC to find one.

Well, she won’t need to hunt for it now.  It seems it’s been relaunched.  Not only has it been relaunched, but there are TV commercials for it.  Commercials starring Tana, giving the viewer all kinds of (useless) ideas for stuff you can do with this thing.  So for only $19.95 (plus shipping and handling), you can own this goofy gizmo by calling a convenient 800 number.

What’s next?  A Trump wig?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have no doubt that you are far too wise to purchase this thing.  However, I encourage you to caution your friends and neighbors who may not be as wise.  ‘Tis the season for giving, and so please, give those around you fair warning about this scam, so that they will not fall prey, nor suffer physical harm from the shock of seeing this devise on the market.

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.  Consider yourself warned.

Fareed Zakaria and Christmas Eve

If you asked me to name my favorite columnist, I’d tell you it’s Fareed Zakaria, columnist for Newsweek and editor of Newsweek International. Newsweek, along with Sports Illustrated are two magazines that I read just about everything in, at least eventually. Right now, I’m about 5 weeks behind. But earlier today, in the November 21st issue of Newsweek, Mr. Zakaria had another good column titled “Europe Needs a New Identity”.

This article touches on a topic my buddy Scott is all too familiar with: The laziness of the French. In fact, somebody apparently wrote a book about it entitled, “Bonjour Paresse”, which apparently translates to “Hello Laziness”. In the article, Mr. Zakaria notes that the average Frenchman works 24% FEWER hours than in 1970. The average American works 20% more.

Why do I bring this up? I’m not really sure, outside of the fact that I truly enjoy reading Mr. Zakaria’s column each week. I find myself agreeing with a lot of what he writes, which is surprising given the fact that I’m sure we’ve got completely different backgrounds. He’s been all over the world. My international travels include 2 trips to Toronto and 3 or 4 trips across southern Ontario on the way to Western New York (for weddings, camps, or the Baseball Hall of Fame. He’s married with kids. Clearly, I’m not. He’s got degrees from Yale & Harvard. I’ve got one from the University of Evansville (who quit sending me alumni stuff a few years ago after a falling out).

Yet his insights into handling Iraq and other international topics are often dead on, even if it may take a year or two to see it. Want proof? See this column from July 14, 2003, or this one from March 1, 2004. Yet, he’s not saying the U.S. shouldn’t have gone in and removed Saddam (October 20, 2003).

Anyway, that’s mainly what I wanted to say. I’m actually killing a little bit of time before I need to get ready for church, as I’m running the sound board for the 10:00 pm service tonight (Christmas Eve).

Merry Christmas to everyone. May you enjoy your time with family and friends, but remember that this holiday commemorates the birth of Jesus, our Savior, and that can be done even if you’re not with family or friends.

Presidents and Egos

So Ann wants to know why George Bush cares about his poll numbers.  In my mind there’s a whole (non-heavenly) host of reasons.  Let’s try to dive into a few, shall we?  These will be in no particular order, other than the order I can think of them.

First, if you’re the President of the United States (and I don’t mean a member of the mid-90’s band), you undoubtedly have a pretty sizable ego.  Some people do a better job than others of downplaying this, but it’s there.  It’s takes a hell of an ego to believe that you know how to govern and run a country better than anyone else.  I should know, because I have an ego almost that large, and proud of it.

So the fact that poll numbers are sliding/diving/in freefall is something that you can’t help but take personally.  The thought is, “How can these people doubt me?  I know what I’m doing.”  These types of polls are an affirmation (when people agree with you), and a slap in the face that needs to be corrected when people start calling you an idiot.

Second, as tough as it is to believe (and I still shake my head at this), George still has another THREE years to go.  In theory, he still has stuff he wants to accomplish, and it’s far easier to push senators and congressmen around when the polls back your positions and job performance.  When they don’t, it gets much easier for people to distance themselves from you and push different agendas.

Third, I think his numbers are so low that he feels like he’s got to do something so people don’t believe he’s completely out of touch.  He may be (and probably is), but as President, you don’t want people believing that.

Now, just to keep everyone happy, I’ll dive into the part you really wanted to hear.  George’s performance so far, particularly in his second term, makes be glad I abstained from voting in 2004.  There are those people who claim that if you don’t vote, you can’t complain.  I don’t buy that, particularly when you’re forced to choose between and idiot and a bigger idiot.  I would prefer to believe I can choose not to support either.  I regret Bush being the President right now, but I would equally regret Gore or Kerry as well.

I’ll try to get into more of this later.  In the meantime, it’s time for me to go to bed.  I still have to work on Friday.

Holidays and Harry Potter

Well alright!!  I ask for some topics, and I actually got some responses.

Greetings to Karol, who was kind enough to check in from NJ, despite the rash of holiday services I’m sure she’s officiating.  Since she was the first one to put up a comment, I’ll tackle her topic first (though she actually sent it in an email):  The whole “Happy Holidays” replacing “Merry Christmas” thing (I hate to call it a controversy).

As a business owner, I’m sure some of the people I’m dealing with are Jewish, so wishing them a Merry Christmas probably doesn’t go over that well.  In fact, I sent out the “Holidays” cards this year just to make sure I’m not needlessly ticking anyone off.  Yes, I’m celebrating Christmas, but that doesn’t mean you are, and if I don’t know you that well, I’m certainly not going to ask you what your religion is just so I can give you the proper greeting.  So yep, I’m going with Happy Holidays.  And I don’t blame businesses for doing this one bit.

If I try to put myself on the other side of the coin, it gets a little weird.  How would I react if someone came up to me and said “Happy Hanukkah”?  After a momentary bit of confusion, I’d probably be asking myself, “Why does this person think I’m Jewish?”  Without getting into any stereotypes, it would make me think a little.  I really don’t want to put someone in that same position.

In short, I’m not sure why everyone is getting worked up about this.  It might be a little different if I were running a Christian bookstore or something like that.  A better question may be why it took so long.

As for Ann’s request about Harry Potter movies, well Ann, you may have found a topic I don’t know that much about.  I’ve seen (not read) some of the books, and the newer ones were just enormous.  Since I haven’t gone to see a movie in 9+ years, I have no idea what the movies are like.  I know there’s kids going to some kind of witchcraft school, and the one of the characters resembles the “Where’s Waldo” dude, just without the hat.  But I have no idea how many there have been or who’s been in them.  I’ve got about as much use for them as the NBA, which is to say not much.

Getting Started

Is this the first step in a train wreck? Maybe, but that's OK. I've had enough people clammoring for my return that I've finally broken down. Much like Ross Perot, I'm in this for the supporters. Of course, Ross is a couple billion ahead of me in net worth. You can help with that by clicking on some of those Google ads you see above.

So anyway, I'll try to post here periodically. However, as Rob and Ann can attest, some of my best work comes from being prompted to offer an opinion on something. I rarely turn those opportunities down. So I encourage you to post ideas or links to things you find funny or annoying. Just watch out for some of Ann's readers. I'm still recovering from a brutal beating I took a few months back because I wasn't sympathetic enough. HELLLLOOOOO!!! You're just now figuring that out?? This would be one of the plethora of reasons that my brother (sometimes referred to as Junior or Son-O-Hal) is getting married and I remain firmly single. A pretty healthy ego helps that out, too.

I've got an early day of grocery shopping tomorrow. Start getting those ideas to me, and those that I deam worthy will not only get responses, but you'll be smarter because of it. How can you turn that down?