More Morons in Cars

Well, it seems that drivers in the Ballantyne area keep finding more ways to be stupid. As I was driving to work this morning, I was stopped at a light behind about 7 other cars waiting to turn left. However, after about a minute and a half, the light still hadn't changed. With my normal lack of patience, I cut over to the right lane in order to use my "alternate" driving plan. However, as I approached the light (now in the right turn lane), I noticed the problem: Some dumb woman in an SUV was distracted by something (remarkably not a cellphone), and had not pulled all the way up to the stop line. In fact, she was about a car length behind the line, meaning she hadn't even gotten up to the spot needed to trigger the light change. So, being the good citizen that I am, I honked my horn at her, and waived her up to the line. Needless to say, she wasn't very thankful (despite the fact that everyone behind her probably was), yet as she crept up, wouldn't you know it, but the light then turned green!

I used to think it was just those over 60 that needed bi-annual road tests. I'm beginning to think the rule should apply to anyone driving an SUV (since the amount of attention paid while driving seems in inverse proportion to the size of your vehicle).

In other news, Papa John's has ended their Tuesday buy 1, get 1 free deal. So I had to opt for the 2 large-2 toppings for $16.69 tonight. Oh, and ever since they instituted a delivery charge, I've been picking mine up. That has 2 added bonuses. First, no tip. Second, for every 5 pick ups, you get a free large 1 topping pizza. I've already gotten 2 free ones, have enough for a third, and am working on a 4th. Yes, I love Papa John's.

While I probably won't start my search until next year, I'm trying to find a restaurant where I can become a "regular". Some place where they'll eventually greet me by name and show me to my regular table. I want it to be relatively close by (so you can eliminate any place in Downtown Charlotte or parts north), so I won't have far to get home. But at the same time, it needs to have a variety of food, because I might not feel like having the same thing each time. Anyone got any suggestions?

The Onion Article of the Day

OK, I saw this one about a week ago, and while it's from 2004, I was actually in tears during part of this. Odds are you know SOMEBODY'S mom who's like this. Fortunately, mine wasn't this bad.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39425

I'M BACK (AGAIN), BEE-OTCH!!

OK, so I’m sitting around, and slightly on the bored side. Baseball season is over. College hoops won’t get underway for another 3 weeks or so. I’ve already talked to the parents (more on that in a bit), and I’ve got towels in the dryer. So what to do? Well, after antagonizing my nemesis Ann with some comments out of the blue on her blog (which seems to have quieted down following my departure, making me wonder who her “friends” were actually coming to read), I figured, hell, why not put something up again here??

So what’s been happening? Well, outside of the aforementioned laundry, I’m munching on some Chex Mix and listening to XM8 (the 80’s channel) while writing this. The parents just got back home from a trip to Florida visiting Grandma and looking at retirement communities for her & Cliff. Dad’s thrilled to be back. In fact, he was so excited, he went down to the basement this morning and busted the water heater. Chad discovered a downtown of a major city that he doesn’t despise (Denver) while celebrating his first anniversary with Michele (congrats, kids). And I’ve made some people at TNG (yep, I’m still consulting there) envious over my Wednesday plans.

Let’s start with those plans. Wednesday afternoon, TNG is hosting some kind of Halloween thing for kids of employees. I’ve decided that this would be the perfect time for a ½ day off. The last thing I need is to try to work while 20+ ankle-biters hopped up on sugar run around the office begging for food. Now those of you who know me know that I pretty much ignore Halloween, doing my best to make it a non-event. I won’t call it a holiday, because training minors to beg for food while threatening violence is not my idea of a holiday. It also reinforces most parents mistaken notion that their offspring are cute and that everyone wants to see them. This is a fallacy that should be dispelled.

Now, my absence is not being met with universal envy. It seems that some people, who tend to be parents, are interested in having me stick around for the event. It has even been suggested that if TNG brought the staff from the local Hooters that I might be willing to stay. I quickly countered that the odds of that happening when people were bringing in impressionable tykes were miniscule, so I didn’t even need to answer that. A counter offer was made of Roy Williams & Dean Smith instead. This one might actually work, so long as they could be sequestered in a conference room, and the kiddies were kept out. Yep, these are the conversations that take place in the office. The other thing that would be a possibility would be if the kids would be kept in a conference room, blindfolded and tied to chairs. I just don’t think either one is a realistic possibility, particularly since I saw something about a “parade”. Apparently people aren’t taking enough sick days, so TNG wants to give you the chance to get some little kid snot on everyone’s desk to assist in this process.

That’s enough for one night. Plus, the towels are done. Have a good one, y’all.

End of an Era

I guess it probably had to happen at some point, but this is notice to everyone that this is my last posting. Why am I doing this? Probably because I’m not having much fun with it anymore. That, and I’m seriously looking at focusing my efforts on another project.

And no, Rob, it’s not because the Yankees lost.

Thanks to everyone who checked in and posted comments here and there.

Again??

I find myself a bit confused lately.  You see, I’m beginning to think I may actually like little kids.

Trust me, I’m more shocked at this than any of you are.  Twice this year, I’ve had the opportunity to hang out with friends or relatives that have small kids.  The first was when I visited my cousin Jenny and her crew in June, which I’ve written about before.  The second was last weekend visiting Geoff & Lee, with their two kids Savannah & Parker.  Once again, I had fun.

Heaven knows I’m not used to having kids climb on me.  Heck, I’m not even used to having kids around me.  Yet it seems like they take a liking to me.  Much like I did with Corin, I feel like I ended up with a new friend in Savannah.  We raced in the pool.  I let her stand on my shoulders and jump into the pool.  I would push her and her raft down to the deep end and she’d swim right back at me.  She’d grab a hold of my arm and I’d lift her out of the pool (and I’m not that strong).  I’d give her a push to help her swim down to the other end without taking a breath.  After a while, one of us was getting a little tired, so I finally got out.

But she didn’t just play.  She helped to set the table for dinner.  And after dinner, she wanted to play some more before it was time for her to go to bed.  When I finally got up on Sunday morning, she was there to greet me (which I wasn’t quite prepared for).  After breakfast, we played Uno (the Princess version), Old Maid, and Go Fish.

I could have sworn that little kids would avoid me like the plague.  This has not proven to be the case.  Quite the opposite, they’ve demonstrated no fear of me whatsoever.

How is it that I can be intimidating to adults, but kids between the ages of 4 and 7 find me huggable?  How is it that a person who generally would prefer to be by himself has enjoyed his experiences with people who are 1/9th to 1/5th of my age?

I think there’s a couple things in play here.  First, both Corin and Savannah were VERY well behaved.  When they were told to do something by either parent, they did it.  Second, they also both seemed to enjoy having a new audience.

I also don’t want anyone to get the impression that I fully understand what’s involved in having kids.  I know it’s a lot of work and requires a lot of energy.  My experience so far has been closer to playing uncle than anything.  I get to have fun and go home.  But this has been a far different experience than I would have expected.

I will say this whole thing has probably been good for me.  It’s good to get out of your routine every now and then.

"Hi Everybody!"

Well, as coincidences would have it, Ann wanted something to write about, and today I got something.

See, it’s easy if you’re a parent.  Inevitably, the toddler-like creatures inhabiting your home (and demanding to be changed and fed, though not necessarily bathed) do something funny/cute/scary/surprising/insane, and you relay it to the blogging world.  Or you cheat like Ann and primarily take pictures.

But for those of us more comfortable living without the interference of other humans or pets, we have to rely on outside forces beyond our control.  And for those of us extra-oblivious to our surroundings, it takes something that really shakes you out of your self-imposed tunnel vision.

One of my coworkers, Carol (who also regularly reads this), came over to drop some distributions off with the people that sit around me.  As she made her way into the area, we were greeted with a hearty, “Hi, everybody!”  This happens nearly daily, which isn’t the issue.  Today, however, there was something about the cadence in which she said this that struck a chord.  I recognized it, but I couldn’t remember where.  Then it hit me.  It was a character on The Simpsons.  My next problem was trying to remember which one.

You know, the internet is a wonderful thing, and search engines certainly come in handy.  So from my Yahoo home page, I search for “The Simpsons characters”.  And as would surprise absolutely no one, our friends at Wikipedia had a solution for me.

So I start off with a complete list, or at least a near complete list of characters.  This was a bit of a diversion, learning things like Apu’s last name is Nahasapeemapetilon (he runs the Kwik-E-Mart) as well as the impressive list of pets the Simpsons have had.  But that wasn’t helping me identify the character who said it.

So I started looking through, trying to recall who it was that said that magic phrase.  After looking at a few, I started to think it was Barney Gumble, but quickly realized that wasn’t it.  So after a few more, I had the character:  Dr. Nick Riviera.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not comparing Carol to Dr. Nick.  But there was something about the cadence today that just made that connection click.

Anyway, I encourage you to get a few laughs by looking at some of the quotes and detailed background information on the Simpsons.  

Stuff on a Saturday

Some random thoughts on a lazy Saturday afternoon:

1. I find myself watching the Sleuth network, but not for the reasons you may think.  Sure, they have reruns of Miami Vice, which can be fun from time to time, but they also have Knight Rider.  Now, as my brother will attest, I’m not a fan of the show.  However, that doesn’t mean I don’t find some of the storylines and poor acting utterly hilarious.  This is so bad, in fact, that I’m considering recording an episode or two each week just so I have something funny to write about.  Sorry, Chad, this show’s going DOWN.


2. Since I haven’t gotten any offers to be introduced to Monica Seles, I’ll throw out another option:  Shandi Finnessey.  Don’t know who she is?  One hint:  GSN.


3. I still think the Tigers won’t win the AL Central.


4. Still no new news on the job front.   I know there’s a meeting going on at TNG, but I don’t know what all they’re working on.  Outside of that, I’m just keeping my ears open.


5. Dinner tonight will be lasagna, the microwave variety.  What, you think I was going to MAKE it myself?


6. Still looking forward to Chad’s wedding in a few weeks.  I’ve gotten measured for the tux already.  Just need to nail down the lodging arrangements in GR.


7. The maintenance guy is finally supposed to be looking at my roof.  I haven’t heard or seen him yet, so we’ll see what happens.

Y’all have a good weekend.

Labor Day Weekend

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m looking forward to this holiday weekend.  Sure, I’ve got a couple things to do, but for the most part, I can relax.  I completed updating the value of my baseball card collection yesterday, so I should be able to play a few games of my ’75 replay, get some reading done, watch some college football and tennis, and who knows what else.  The Yankees host Minnesota, so I’m sure I’ll watch a couple of those games as well.  And of course, there’s the Saturday morning shopping and church on Sunday.

Not much else going on.  Well, that’s not quite true.  I woke up yesterday morning to what I swear was a dripping sound above my bed.  I don’t see any water spots, but the sound was.  Yes, it was raining hard, but this wasn’t coming from outside.  I called the property management company, and they’re supposed to be sending someone to take a look.  I’ll post the results as soon as I have them.

Other than that, y’all have a good weekend.

Dad--Part II

OK, so I’ve gone through a number of the good things about Dad.  And I meant every one of them.  However, just like anyone’s parents, he’s got his quirks, some of which he’s passed on to me.  Those include:

1. A lack of patience.  I think I may be a little more patient than the big guy, but not much.  I think this is tied together with…


2. A desire to stick to a schedule.  Yes, I prefer to know where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing before doing it.  I’m not the most spontaneous guy on the planet.  Actually, I’m rarely spontaneous.  Mom learned a long time ago that if she wanted me to do something or go someplace, she had better give me a couple days notice so I can acclimate myself to the idea and deem it acceptable.  However, Dad’s taken this to a new level.  He needs more like a week, and that’s assuming he doesn’t have to leave town.  A change in geography requires more like 2 months.  Since he’s retired, he’s set up a cleaning schedule, and he sticks to that pretty religiously.  He hates to have that change.  If something comes up, his first concern is the impact on the cleaning schedule.  Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s close.  This could be related to the fact that he is…


3. A little bit stubborn.  The first time Mom & Dad came down to visit me after moving to Charlotte, I was still living in an apartment.  The place did have an indoor basketball court, so I took them over, and brought a basketball with me.  We (that’s me & Dad) started shooting, though it wasn’t long before I noticed Dad wasn’t shooting with his right hand.  This wasn’t extremely unusual, as he is bit ambidextrous, and he can shoot left handed.  But he is naturally right handed, so after 4 or 5 shots, I asked him about why he wasn’t using his right.  Come to find out, it hurt to do that, so he didn’t.  Only after a fair amount of prodding (“Dad, you can’t go the next 30 years not being able to lift your right arm higher than your shoulder”), he finally had it checked out:  Partially torn rotator cuff.  Luckily, physical therapy was able to rehab it, but I still don’t think he would have even mentioned it had we (this would be Mom & me this time) not started pushing harder to have it checked.


4. A preference to stay home.  For me, this is primarily related to being a strong introvert.  Being around people, particularly people I don’t know, just sucks energy right out of me.  Don’t believe me?  I think it was during an open house for Chad’s high school graduation that I’d worn out on being around people, so I went upstairs in the bathroom, closed the doors, and laid down to take a nap.  It was the only place where people wouldn’t bother me, at least that seemed available at the time.

I can probably hold Dad responsible for my desire to play while injured.  There’s a certain amount of honor in that.  There’s two that really stick out in my mind.  First, I dislocated my right pinky while playing basketball in Winston-Salem (when I was still working for Aon).  I felt, and heard, it pop out.  We had just started the last game, and with no subs available, I needed to keep going.  So I asked, “Anyone know how to set a dislocated finger?”  Someone said, “Just pull it.”  Granted, I had no idea whether the person had any idea what he was talking about, but it sounded good, so as soon as I could get my hands dry enough to get a grip (it was summer, and I’d already been playing for 1-1/2 hours), that’s exactly what I did.  Lo and behold, it did pop back in.  It still hurt like hell, but I finished the game.  Much like Dad was doing, I just tried to do everything with my left, which is definitely not my strong hand.

The other was playing softball for TeamVest.  Several of you at TNG either remember the event, or at least saw me the following day.  While playing left-center, a ball was hit deep in my direction.  I started running back, watching the ball almost the whole way.  Finally, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to make the catch, so I turned to play the ball off the fence (one of the chain-link variety).  Problem was, when I did this, I was AT the fence, and basically ran into if face-first.  I kind of went down in a heap, probably out of shock as much as anything.  After a few minutes, I was up again, and despite spitting blood, finished the game.  I could swear most of the team asked me, “Are you sure you’re OK?”  Only after I got home did I realize why.  I had about 3 cuts on my face, not to mention a couple on the inside of my mouth (hence the blood).  I did look pretty bad.

That’s going to do it for now.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Yankees Take 2

Sorry this one’s going to be short, but it was a late night last night.  I stayed up to watch the end of the Yankees – Red Sux game, which thankfully New York won.  And since they took game 1 of the doubleheader as well, my boys are up by 3-1/2 games in the AL East.  Damon went 6-12 with a triple, 2 home runs, 7 RBI, and 4 runs in the two games.  Abreau went 6-9 with 2 doubles, 3 walks, 2 RBI, 2 runs, and a stolen base.  I can’t begin to tell you how much fun it was to listen to Boston’s announcers watch the game slide out of reach.  The only thing that kept them upbeat was the fact that they were also helping with the Jimmy Fund telethon, which did exceed its goal of raising over $2.6 million.  I don’t know what the final total ended up, but The Donald is the one credited for putting them over the top with a $60,000 pledge.  Even Steinbrenner gives ten grand each year.  For more info, go to www.jimmyfund.org.

At worst, the Yankees will leave Fenway with the division lead.  I’m still hoping they’ll release Ponson, who still sucks.  He’s just horrible, and have to agree with Dad, that someone down in AA could do at least what he’s done (10.47 ERA).

Needless to say, this has been my focus so far, as I managed to slip out of work early yesterday so I could catch the first game.  Don’t worry, TNG’ers, I’ll be back on Monday.  I even brought a small project home to work on.

I have gotten a couple things done this morning, though.  Outside of the normal shopping trip, I’ve gotten a haircut and hosed down the exterior of the house (at least the parts the hose would reach.  The Yankees come on at 1:20 (sorry, FOX, I’m not watching all your pre-game crap.

Well, it’s almost time for lunch.  Have a good weekend, and don’t get arrested.

Dad--Part I

I am my father’s son.  There’s not a whole lot of doubt about that.  OK, you might not know it from looking at me, as I bear a strong resemblance to the men on Mom’s side of the family.  In fact, more than one person thought Mom’s brother was my father (something I notice more as I get older).  But if you get to know me, and you know my Dad, you know where my personality comes from.

Dad’s a great guy, and that’s something I don’t tell him often enough.  Sure, many of you have seen and/or heard my impressions of him at various times, but I love the guy.  Mom would say, “You better.  You’re just like him.”  Yeah, in a lot of ways I am.  But a good part of that is because he’s been an involved (but not overbearing) father from the start.

My earliest memory is just after we moved to West Virginia (I think I was a little under 2 at that point), sitting in the family room and rolling a little yellow football back and forth across the floor to Dad.  He taught me to throw (and catch) baseballs, footballs, and Frisbees.  I remember Dad & Uncle Art (who’s actually my Godfather, but it feels weird to call him anything else) taking me to a gym for the first time.  They played basketball, and let me play (and shoot at) the side baskets.  He assembled my first bike and taught me to ride it.  He coached my little league games, and attended just about all of my basketball games.  Heck, he’d even come out for some of the games I was just doing stats for.  He put up a basketball net at the end of the driveway shortly after we moved to Michigan, and we used to go out nearly every night after dinner and play some 1-on-1.  There were evenings when he would stand at the end of the driveway and throw footballs to Chad while I would play defense.  He taught me the importance of playing good defense, regardless of the sport.  I can’t even begin to count the number of baseball, football, basketball (college & pro), and hockey games we watched together when I was a kid.

Dad taught me a few other things as well.  While both he and Mom taught me the importance of saving, it was Dad I had to negotiate with when I wanted (or thought I deserved) a raise in my allowance.  He opened up some of his financial records to me before I had even started college and made sure I understood how (and when) to use credit.  As much as anyone, he may have started to show me that there are times to be a little more flexible with rules.  I can remember one evening during my freshman year of high school when I was freaking out about the amount of homework I had.  I had gotten home late because the basketball team (that I was doing stats for) had a road game and by the time I’d finished dinner, it was about 9:30 or 10:00.  Bedtime (yes, I still had a bedtime then) was 10:30, and I just didn’t see how I was going to get everything done.  Dad came in and said, “Look, you’re in high school now.  Do your homework, and get to bed as soon as you can.”  Little did he know that 3 years later, I’d pull my first all-nighter.  Or maybe he did.

I can still remember watching baseball playoffs with Dad when I should have been in bed (which would occasionally frustrate Mom).  But because of Dad, I saw Kirk Gibson’s home run against Eck in the ’88 Series.  We watched NC State beat Houston in the ’83 NCAA tournament final (sorry Casey, but I was pulling for Phi Slamma Jamma).  We watched Gretzky in his prime, and how much fun hockey can be when you’ve got an offensive minded team like the mid-80’s Edmonton Oilers.  I had moved back in with the parents after college, which allowed us to watch the ’93 NCAA finals between UNC and Michigan (we were both pulling for UNC).  I’m sure he can still remember me jumping off the couch and over the coffee table screaming for a traveling call on Chris Webber before the infamous “time out”.   Today, even though he’s still up in Michigan, there are games that we sort of “watch” together over the phone (thank heavens for Vonage and the flat monthly rate).

He’s been there when I needed to move in and out of dorms, buy my first car, and buy my house.  He’s there with a hug when I make it back home and before I leave again.  He’s answered my dumb questions on minor household repairs and when I’ve needed to bounce ideas off of him.  Anytime he sends me anything, there’s usually a little note in there.  

Here’s the funny thing.  He’ll probably never see this.  I’m sure Dad had no idea what a blog is, what it’s for, or that I even have 3.  But I’m sure Mom will probably tell him.  So I guess what I’m saying is…

Love ya Big Guy.  And thanks for everything.

What?'s Dead

Yep, you read that right.  What?’s dead.  Seems the dude got sick.  When I noticed this, he was asleep in his house.  I figured I’d check on him later when he would be outside so I could give him a shot.  Well, I forgot to do that before I went to bed.  When I checked on him this morning, he’d expired.  What? was 54.

American Top 40 on XM8

For those of you with XM radio (as well as those of you who have access to some of it through DirecTV like me), the 80’s channel is playing different editions of America’s Top 40 countdowns from the 80’s. Don’t know how often this will happen, or how long this will go, but it’s kind of cool to listen to. The 70's channel is doing the same thing, and Casey Kasem sounds identical on both.

Plethora of Baseball

I’m not sure if I can pull it off, but I’m hoping to get a lot of baseball in this weekend.  I don’t mean playing baseball.  It’s been too freaking hot for that, though it is supposed to cool off on Saturday, getting back into the mid to upper 80’s.  No, I mean playing a number of games from my 1975 replay.

I’m on May 6th of the schedule.  I got a couple games in earlier this week.  Well, that’s not quite true.  The first one (Cubs @ Expos) was rained out, so needless to say, that one went pretty quick.  Then on Thursday, I played a Yankees-Orioles game, which I lost 2-0.  The Yankees have now gone 6 games without a home run.  I didn’t think that was possible.

Anyway, today ended up as a short day at TNG, so I came home and started laying out my plan.  After getting a couple things done around the house, including 2 loads of laundry, I’ve managed to play 2 games so far tonight.  First, Pittsburgh beat the Mets 3-0.  Since I had the Mets (that was randomly selected Kevin, so I don’t want to hear about how good the Pirates were then.  I know they were good), that was the second straight game I’d been shut out, which kind of sucked.  However, I’m feeling pretty good now as I led the Indians to a 5-3 win over the Red Sux.

With a little bit of luck, I’ll squeeze in 4 games tomorrow (Saturday) followed by another 3 on Sunday.  So 9 games in 3 days amounts to a near orgy of baseball, particularly when you consider I’m sure I’ll have live games going on TV at the same time.

Outside of that, tomorrow is the normal grocery shopping trip.  I’ll also trim the shrubs out in front of the house and clean the air filters (hopefully before it rains).  Then it’s on to my mini baseball-fest.

Hope your weekend is as relaxing as mine.

Be Careful

This one’s a warning to my readers who live in the Charlotte area.  BE CAREFUL DRIVING AROUND THE BALLANTYNE OFFICE PARK.

I say this because I’ve nearly been hit 3 times in the past 3 weeks.  Two of those were by women flapping their gums on cellphones coming out of the Ballantyne Village onto Ballantyne Commons.  They didn’t even bother to look for oncoming traffic.  The other was by some moron who clearly had no clue about who has the right of way at an intersection (hint:  The person without a stop sign, stop light, or yield sign generally has priority over those who do).

I’m telling you, my horn has gotten quite a workout after having to either swerve out of the way (when traffic allowed) or slam on the brakes.  This is when I’m glad I don’t have a Honda (cheesy horn).  My buddy Greg drove a Honda in high school and college, and I swear he’d have been better off rolling down his window and yelling at someone.  The horn was that weak.

Anyway, I’ve got clothes to get out of the dryer.  Just needed to vent a little frustration there.  And if you’re driving in the Ballantyne area when you hear a horn, it might be mine.  You can avoid it by not driving like an idiot.